This is It!!!

Happy Mother's Day to our wonderful Moms today.  You are both incredible and wonderful :)  We love you so much!

Today is my last day of working at this...this...place.  Hallelujah!  I'm so so so excited!  I hate working there so much, and they keep trying to persuade me to stay.  Stay for what?  They're not even offering me any more pay or a different wing!!  Plus, they've all been so RUDE about my career choice as a psychiatric nurse, that I am glad to say GOOD RIDDANCE.  You know, psychiatric nurses are there for a reason, and they DO help people and they SERVE A NEED.  Where will these people be going when they have a psychotic break?  To a psych hospital.  With psych nurses.  Who will be glad to help you figure out what went wrong.  People should be glad and grateful there are people like me who want to work in psych.  Just like I'm grateful there are nurses who work in OB/GYN, because I could never do that.  Ugh.  Ugh!!  Glad to get this all off my chest.  Thanks for letting me rant and rave people.

My Dream Job

People who know me well know that I've loved the field of psychology and psychiatry ever since high school.  My high school psychology class introduced me to the wonders of the human brain and all the things that can go wrong with it.  I studied Abnormal Psychology right before I graduated high school and was determined to be either a psychiatrist, psychologist, or psych nurse.  A close family member (somewhat unfortunately) told me that I shouldn't be a psychiatrist or psychologist.  I determined I would be a nurse at that point in my life.

During my sophomore year in college, I worked as a CNA at a geriatric psychiatric facility in Salt Lake City.  One of the best jobs I've ever had - I learned a lot, got beaten up and bitten by patients, and had a grand old time.  I was sure my future as a psychiatric nurse was guaranteed. So I went to nursing school, awaiting the day that I would begin my Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing course in my senior year.   As I knew I would, I LOVED it.  I loved it so much that I chose to make it my focus in my Nursing Capstone class.  My capstone was at the University of Utah 5 West unit, where they bring in people from off the streets and from the prison.  

I had hoped that Jordan would be accepted to the University of Utah and that after working in Med-Surg for a year, I could transfer to 5 West and work there for the rest of my career - it was that good of a place.  Then we got the email that we would move to Virginia - unknown territory.  Did they have good psych facilities out there?  Would I even be able to get a job, considering my lack of experience and resources?  Well, I have discovered that there are indeed amazing facilities in Virginia to help those with mental health problems - facilities that have been around for over 100 years, back when they called these places "sanatoriums."  

My lack of experience has been made up for by working at my current job with over 20 patients and dealing with their family members as well - if that's not psych nursing, I don't know what is!  After working at my current place of employment for almost 8 months, I am VERY happy to say I've found something different.  I will begin working at a small hospital 40 minutes south of me that has an amazing psychiatric unit!  I will work with another nurse and take care of 8 patients.  It will be SUCH a huge change, a change for the better.  

Pros:

1. Psych Nursing!  Helloooo!  My dream job!!

2. Smaller unit, less patients

3. More fulfilling - I'll be able to do more nursing care instead of "pushing pills."

4. I'll lead group sessions with patients.

5. Cheaper health insurance

6. Good staff retention - means it's a good place to work because the people like working there!

7. Hopefully I'll have less overtime...I don't really like staying 3 hours over my shifts to complete my work.

8. Work less days a week for the same amount of time - 3 to 4 days each week

9. The hospital system has hospitals all over the country, so if we need to move for residency, I can just transfer to another hospital!

Cons:

1. Pay is a little less.

2. It's 40 minutes both ways driving.

Basically, I'm stoked!  I start working there May 16, and will quit my current job May 8.

Death

I really don't know what to title this post. It's been a rough couple of days in my career. For those of you that don't like reading medical/sad things, don't read this.

One of my favorite patients at work has been hanging onto life these past few days. She had been on hospice for about a month. Cancer - cancer is what did this to her. It ate away at her body and whittled her already emaciated body down to that of a skeleton. She was in excruciating pain. Even the morphine that we as nurses administered to her didn't help at times.

When she was first admitted to my wing, she was FULL OF LIFE. Absolutely. She was up and walking around, talkative, so funny, and annoying at times. She always wanted to get up to go to the bathroom. She would always pat my arm after giving her the medication and say, "You are always so caring for me!" She didn't know who I was every day I worked with her, but she would always thank me, up until she stopped talking last week.

I just couldn't believe at how awful she looked at the end. Her feet and hands were bluish/purple. Mouth dry. Eyes closed. Skin so fragile, it would almost break if you touched it. She could barely even get a moan out. I went in to give her some morphine and other medications at 5:00. She took the morphine, but couldn't swallow the other medications, even though I had crushed them and put them in applesauce. She couldn't even swallow water. I left the room and not even five minutes later, the roommates visitor came and got me.

"I think she just passed away. She hasn't been breathing for a minute."

"Oh my gosh. Crap."

I rushed into the room. Tried to feel for a carotid pulse. Nothing. Got my stethoscope and tried to hear for a heartbeat or breath sounds. Nothing. She was gone. Slipped away. I kept thinking that the last thing I did for her was get rid of her pain. I got the other nurse I was working with to listen for any heartbeat and she said she was gone also. Since I'm an RN, I can declare death. I had no idea I held that power - to declare that someone's life had just ended. It ended at 5:17 PM. Call the family. Call the hospice. Call the doctor. Call the mortician. Perform post-mortem care. Those CNA's that did that did a wonderful job. She looked like she was sleeping after they took care of her.

Her poor daughter. Oh man - she had just asked me the other day how her death would be. I hoped for her sake that it would be quiet. It was. I thought it was fitting that she passed away on a Sunday - the day of rest. The day when her body and soul are finally put at rest and she goes to be with her Lord.

It made me think about how I want to die in the future. I don't want anything bad to happen. No heart attacks, no violent death, no pain. I just want to slip peacefully away like this sweet lady. It really makes you think about your own life. How are you living? What are you doing with your time on this earth? Are you really doing the things that are important? Are you taking the time to demonstrate your love and caring for the people around you? Life is short. Live it to the fullest.

Getting Ready for Christmas

Jordan and I are SOOOO excited for Christmas! The week after Thanksgiving, I decorated our front porch with lights and our front room with some Christmas decorations. For some reason, we waited until 2 weeks before Christmas to get a tree. A real tree, mind you! I LOVE the smell of Christmas trees. That, and the smell of "smoker-men" incense brings to mind so many Christmas memories from growing up. We weren't sure where to get a tree, so I kept my mind out while driving in Richmond. There really weren't many places it seemed! We also needed to get a tree stand. Target was all out of them, so we went to Home Depot and lo and behold, they had Christmas trees! For really good prices too. So we got a cute 6-foot Douglas Fir, a tree stand, and some tree food. Isn't it cute!?

We've gotten all our shopping done and I'm loving just taking in this Christmas season. It snowed last week (2 inches) and all the schools had a snow day and a lot of businesses shut down. It was pretty hilarious! We decided to go to the mall that day, and it was perfect because NO-ONE was out! Then the snow melted over the next couple days and we're supposed to get a "big" snow storm this weekend. I hope it doesn't interfere with our flight home!

Yesterday at work we had a potluck and I was the only one who remembered. Haha. We were supposed to bring foods from where we were from (A lot of the girls I work with are from Africa, so they were going to bring African cuisine). Well, I brought funeral potatoes, and everyone loved them! I also brought Martinelli's, but didn't have a bottle cap opener. One of the patient's daughters brought everyone doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. Then one of the CNA's bought some Fanta from the gas station. So my dinner consisted of funeral potatoes, Krispy Kreme, and Fanta. Delicious :) It's a good thing that I burn so many calories during a shift, otherwise I would be getting fat, lol.

Good Old-Fashioned Cheesy Potatoes (Funeral Potatoes)

6 large potatoes, boiled and grated OR 24 oz. thawed country-style hashbrowns

1 (10 3/4 oz) can cream of chicken soup

2 cups sour cream

1 cup grated cheddar cheese

1/2 cup melted butter

1/3 cup chopped onion

2 cups corn flakes

2 Tbsp. melted butter

Combine soup, sour cream, cheese, 1/2 cup melted butter, and onions. Gently blend into potatoes. Pour into 9x13 baking dish. Crush corn flakes and mix in 2 tablespoons melted butter. Sprinkle on top (or omit corn flake topping and just sprinkle with paprika). Bake at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes.

Delicious!

Halloween

Halloween weekend was great. It was especially sweet because of the good news of Jordan's wrist and shoulder. Because we are on the activities committee, we helped to plan our ward's Trunk-or-Treat. We brought our pumpkins and lanterns to help decorate and I made Pumpkin Chicken Chili (Amazing) for the chili cook-off. Surprisingly, I won second prize with my chili! For those who have the Dining with Duchess cookbook, it's on the last page of the main course section, page 84. The recipe is as follows:

Saute:

1 onion

1 yellow or green pepper, chopped

1 T. garlic, minced (3 cloves)

Oil

Combine saute mixture with:

3 c. chicken broth

2 (15 oz.) cans black beans, rinsed and drained

2.5 c. chicken, cooked and cut in bite-sized pieces

1 (15 oz.) can pumpkin

1 (15 oz.) can diced tomatoes

2 T. parsley

1 T. chili powder

2 tsp. oregano

2 tsp. cumin

1.5 tsp. curry powder

0.5 tsp. salt

Cook in crockpot on low for 4 to 5 hours.

Notes: I accidently used pumpkin pie mix instead of pumpkin and I think it added a lot of flavor - it was so yummy!

Approximately 200 people came to the party, and it was so fun to see all the little kids and even some adults dressed up :)

The next day, Halloween, we went to church and then watched The 'Burbs with Tom Hanks. Hilarious, and sort of Halloween-ish. I made a pumpkin cobbler for the Richmond Mormon Chorale party/rehearsal and it was delicious. I think pumpkin desserts are my favorite! Jordan said that a total of one person came trick-or-treating at our house, and he didn't even answer the door because he was playing Starcraft. Lame!

Today I got called off work, which is always nice. I've been needing a little bit of a break. I'm so excited to see Jordan's side of the family next week when we go to Disney World! It is going to be amazing!

I asked the scheduling person at work about getting a couple days off around Christmas so that we could come home, and she said that it's company policy that there are...NO vacations from December 15 to January 15. How retarded and lame is that. I couldn't believe it. The only way we will be able to come out is if I can get someone to cover one of my shifts. So I'm going to keep trying to get coverage, but we'll see what happens. :(

A little note about commenting on blogs - The reason Jordan mentioned that I feel no one reads these is because of the lack of comments. You don't have to be a member of Blogger to comment, just click "comments" at the bottom of a post to comment as anonymous (just remember to leave your name) :). This is really the only way for me to communicate to you, our family and friends, about what is going on in our lives, and it makes me happy to read your comments, kind of like reading a conversation. Because that's what this blogging is all about. Communication! We love you so much and thank you for reading!

At least we don't have snow

Believe it or not, things have been pretty good for Melyn and me. I'm going down the career of my dreams and Melyn is a working nurse. Although things do sound pretty tough lately, more so for Melyn than me. As Melyn has mentioned in her previous post, her new job has been quite an adrenaline rush. It's super busy and a rehab care facility is a much different working environment from a hospital which she is used to. Still, I'm super proud of the work she's doing and I know she's the best nurse in the world. Plus, we finally have a real source of income for the first time in our marriage (yay!). I've been trying to help out more around the house to compensate for her being at home less. In other words, I'm cleaning up after myself more.

As for me, I've been really enjoying school, but I just wish I was smarter. The hardest transition to medical school from college is the fact that you can no longer coast to get by... ever. You are in a large group of students who are way smarter than you and it feels like a struggle to keep my head above water at times. The hard part isn't getting a passing grade on an exam, but rather performing favorably compared to my peers. The fact is, the classes we have now are just preparation for the boards we will take at the end of second year. When you apply for residency positions, the score you got on your first board exam will be the largest factor (usually) that they take into consideration. And so if you score below the national average, then your chances at getting the residency you want don't look so good. And so, I'm working really hard to perform well now so I can perform well when I take the boards.

Right now I'm taking gross anatomy. This course is known at my school for being the first real challenge for medical students. The hardest part is simply memorizing every little muscle, nerve, and artery in the body. I feel like my brain hasn't been absorbing very well all the names and details I'm throwing at it while I'm studying. My first anatomy exam is in two parts, one on Tuesday and the other on Wednesday. The first part is called the practical. This is where they have each cadaver marked with a few points and you have to name the muscle, nerve, etc that the marker is pointing at. The second part is the written exam, which is simply a list of questions that you have to answer regarding gross anatomy. I'm not putting too much detail into describing all this information, but really I'm just writing to take a break from studying.

Also, I've been biking to school. We live about 7 miles from the medical campus and it takes me about 30 minutes to get there from our house. We're limited to one car, so me taking the bike allows Melyn to drive to work and do whatever errands needed to be done (like shopping for groceries). To me, the real advantage in riding a bike is that it's basically free. I don't have to pay for parking, yearly registration, insurance, gas, repairs, and the inevitable parking/speeding ticket. All those reasons are why I hate owning a car. Plus, in the rare event that my bike gets stolen, it simply means I'm going to be browsing the yard sales for another $20 bike. I'm also considering getting a scooter, at some point in the future when we've put a decent amount into our savings. Sometimes it feels just too cold or rainy to bike, so having something motorized would be nice. With the laws here in Richmond, I don't need a motorcycle license or insurance to drive a scooter (as long as it's a scooter that doesn't go faster than 35 mph, which is fast enough for the route I usually take to school). And I can park it next to where all the bikes are which means I don't need an expensive student parking pass ($120 a semester). I will have to pay for gas, but at 90 miles to the gallon, they are quite efficient. This, however, is all just a dream of mine. We really won't have any money to spend on such a luxury for a good long time, but it keeps me motivated.

Although biking has been pretty good, today I had my first crash. Coming home, I was riding a little to close to the outside of the lane and I hit my right handlebar right smack on a parked car's side door mirror. I crashed and burned pretty bad (lots of cuts on my palms and shoulder) and banged up the front wheel. The wheel now runs a little crooked. With this happening and also the stress of a major test that I don't feel ready for; it hasn't been a good day. But when things are real bad, I remind myself "it's snowing in Salt Lake right now. I'm so lucky to be here."

I love you all, thank you for reading. Sorry for the spelling and grammatical errors, I'm too lazy to proofread. Also, please comment on Melyn's entries when she blogs, she feels like no one reads them.

The Worst Day Ever

On the 19th, two of the worst things that can happen in nursing happened to me. I know that I've been writing really downer stuff lately, so if you don't want to read it, don't. It's just how it is.

I was in the middle of my first medication pass, getting things done on time, and then it happened. I was giving an insulin injection to a patient, and the needle went through his skin, into my finger. I got a freaking needlestick injury. I was bleeding, and so I washed my hands really well and told the supervisor. I filled out one incident report. I had to leave the building and get blood drawn at a clinic a couple miles away and ended up being gone from the floor for almost 2 hours. 2 hours! That's a quarter of my shift! I knew then that I would be there late.

Then, during the second medication pass, I was trying to go fast and ended up giving the wrong medications to a patient. I had to complete incident report number two, call the doctor, and call the family members (always scary). The patient ended up being fine, but it was the fact that I made two big mistakes in the span of four hours that killed me.

A lot of my nursing friends have been really reassuring, telling me that it happens and that they've all made these mistakes too. Nurses are human and mistakes happen. I'm not a perfect human being.

On the positive side, I only had 2 hours of overtime yesterday, not 3 like I usually do. I'm getting better slowly, but surely.

October

Well, not much has been happening here in the past couple weeks. Jordan has begun his anatomy course and is working with a small group on a fresh cadaver, dissecting it and learning all the different parts of the body. He enjoys it, but complains that the fat that they have to cut out is very greasy and slimy. Yum. :)

I've gotten my official work schedule and I work 40 hours a week, 5 days a week. It's been a good learning experience. I had 5 days of orientation and now I'm working by myself. To be totally honest...I am not truly enjoying working at this place. The patients see me as a "pill-pusher," which is really sad. As a nurse, you do SO much more than give medications. The problem with working with over 20 patients is that half of your shift, literally, is spent giving medications. Then you have to complete tons and tons of paperwork for everyone. It's very frustrating and really a lesson in time management and multi-tasking. I hate multi-tasking, because I always feel like I'm missing something. In addition to all the paperwork and medication passing, I need to keep track of the work of 5 CNA's, and they don't really communicate what's going on. A few are decent, but below standard work is so frustrating. I can't stop dreaming about work and Jordan has witnessed me sleep-walking and sleep-talking about stuff I've forgotten to do at work. It's exhausting! This is really why I haven't written a post for a couple weeks, because I don't really have anything good to say about work.

I've committed myself to work there for at least a year, and then I'll start looking for a job in a hospital environment. They'll for sure hire me after I've worked somewhere for a year.

We haven't decorated for Halloween, but I'm going to decorate for Thanksgiving. Our finances have been extremely tight. Imagine two poor college students living on nothing anyway, moving across the country, and living on meager savings for 2 months while paying exorbitant amounts of college tuition and trying to find a job. Not a pretty picture. Things will be tight for a couple more months, but then we'll be ok.

Since Jordan is going to school in the mornings, and I'm working in the evenings, we don't really see each other except for the days I have off. And even then, Jordan sometimes has school in the afternoons. Jordan suggested that we have "Family Home Afternoon" instead of FHE :) He also suggested that we have our meals Brazilian style, where the biggest meal is lunch, not dinner. On the days he gets out of class early, we'll have a big lunch and then I'll go to school. I loved his suggestions!

We've been trying to find a way to come out to Utah for a weekend in December. We'll keep you posted, but since the only weekend both of us have off is the weekend of Christmas, it may not happen. I might be able to switch weekends with the previous week though. We're crossing our fingers, because we want to see everyone. We miss you all so much and love you!

Good News!

1. Well, it seems there aren't any more mice living under our stove! Hallelujah!

2. It's fall....makes me happy for many reasons: comfy clothes, boots, scarves, changing leaves, quilts on the bed, hot chocolate, cooler weather, more rain, turning the heater on (truly signifying the end of summer).

3. I got my orientation days set up: Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday!

4. I got my adorable (albeit white) scrubs I ordered in the mail! :)

5. We finally set up the guest bedroom bed after living here for two months. The office/guest bedroom looks much more put together.

The New Job...Finally!

Well, it's official! I got the job at a rehabilitation center in the West End of Richmond. The Director of Nursing (DON) called me on Tuesday and offered me not a part-time job, but a FULL-TIME job!! I was so ecstatic! This means I won't have to search around for another job any more. I'm going to be eligible for benefits too, which I've never had in my life. The center is only 1 mile away from my house; it literally takes me 5 minutes to drive there. I had orientation yesterday, and I was the only RN there. It looks like there are four wings, with an RN Charge Nurse (CN), two LPN's (licensed practical nurses), and several CNA's (certified nursing assistants). I'll be on one of the rehab units. And oh my, the rehab facility is SOOOOOOO nice! They just built it and it cost 4 million. They have everything down there! These patients are taken care of very well.

I have been getting my "nursing bag" ready for work. It will have all my papers, clipboards, stethoscope, highlighters, pens, snacks, peppermints, masks, essential oil...all good nursing stuff. The only downside I've really found to this job is that I have to wear ALL WHITE. Boo. The problem with white is that it gets dirty so easily. Thank goodness they'll let me wear my Dansko's though (they're black).

I have another day of orientation on Wednesday where they'll test my nursing skills and medication knowledge. Then I have five days of orientation and I'm on my own! I'll be working every other weekend and three days during the week (not sure which ones yet). Yay for being a nurse...and having a job!!! :) :)

Interviews

Well, the interview at the rehabilitation center in the West End of Richmond went very well! I went there this morning, filled out an application, and then interviewed with the Director of Nursing. She kept commenting on how young I am and how she was worried that the CNA's would take advantage of me. I'm looking forward to using my leadership skills to hopefully not let this happen. I think I convinced her that I'm very excited, willing to learn, and desirous of helping patients in their own ways.

The center is amazing. They mainly do rehabilitation for people after strokes, surgery, and other accidents. The rehab place has a kitchen where people can learn how to cook for themselves, a car so they can learn how to get in and out, and all the other basic rehab stuff. I'm amazed! There are three different wings (I think). Two of them hold all rehab patients and are super busy, and the other holds half rehab patients and half long-term care patients. I would most likely be floating around to all the different units, because they are basically the same. Once she clears my references, I will orient for about a week (!!! - short!) and then start working the 3-11 shift a couple times a week. Thank goodness! You have no idea what a relief it is to finally have a possible job. Our savings are continually dwindling and it will be nice to finally start them up again.

I'm going to be reading and re-reading this awesome book I got for new nurses. It is so comprehensive. I'm worried that I will have forgotten everything that I worked so hard to build over the past four years, but all my nursing friends keep reassuring me that I can't have forgotten :) I'm just SO SO SO excited to finally start working and taking care of people!! Yeah!